Alumni Interview

I had sat a dhatun [a month-long meditation retreat] and I was wondering about ways to keep going on the Buddhist path and to be of help in the world. I thought that the marriage of Buddhism and western psychology was just the right thing. It seemed like a great way to join my livelihood with my spiritual path.

How has your time in the program been so far?

It’s been fantastic. It’s been very hard. I’m not going to say that it has just been a stroll.

Do you find the program to be difficult?

I find the program to be very demanding, but in a good way. I think that it is what you make of it. It really depends how willing you are to let people, or let an idea, touch you. But you can always turn your back on anything, so that’s an aspect of the challenge–to stay open.

In the first semester, I began to realize that I had a lot of emotions shelved away. I was really moved by some of the material we studied in Child Development. It made me look at my life and wonder about certain patterns that I’ve always had. I began to fall apart, to break down, in a good way.

Can you say more about that?

Since I’ve been in the program, I’ve felt loneliness in a new way. Before I came to study here, I had all kinds of paraphernalia to keep that feeling away. But now that I’m on this path of study, I see that this loneliness is something that’s never going to be filled from the outside. It’s not about being with other people or not, it’s more basic than that. I’ve started to learn to swim in things that are paradoxical, and in a way, I find it to be freeing.

How so?

Instead of being a dull ache, I know the loneliness is really there. Feeling it fully is empowering.

What do you have to say about contemplative practice as an aspect of this program?

I believe strongly that contemplative practice is the catalyst for the whole thing we’re doing here. If you don’t want to sit, you might think of doing something else other than this program.

Of course, it’s not always easy. When you’re feeling lousy and your emotions are all stirred up, you don’t want to sit. You want to go play pool and drink a beer. So, we have to work with that desire and find a balance with sitting practice.

Would you speak about your relationship with the dharma that’s taught in the program?

For one thing, there is such a wealth of dharma and a wealth of great teachers here in Boulder, I know that I can always hear more dharma if I want to. There have been times when I have wanted to hear more and I’ve used other resources in the community.

In my class, we have many people who are not Buddhists. I think that the dharma is presented in a way that works for people of all backgrounds. The program offers an experiential slant that can be applied to people of any faith. These are universal teachings that we’re learning. For example, the notion of ‘basic goodness’has been a lifesaver for so many of us. When our classes are churning up difficult emotions and lots of self-aggression, we can come back to that awareness and it makes all the difference.

How do you feel about the community aspect of the program?

I love that we are in a group. It’s amazing to be with all these people; so many different lives coming together. It’s like a soup that starts and everybody adds his or her own flavor. We have a whole range of ages; we have different levels of experience with psychology, different professional backgrounds, different talents, and so on. It’s wonderful in that way.

How do you regard the academics of the program?

Most of the material is very inspiring. We have a lot of traditional readings in the field and newer readings, too. I think the balance is very good. Dealing with the readings is not drudgery. I realize how much there is to learn! Part of my challenge is to remember that I don’t have to learn it all at once.

What about life in Boulder?

Everything is organic, but it’s all very expensive, even compared to New York prices.

Do you have misgivings about the cost of the program?

No, actually, I feel okay about the money. What I’ve gotten here so far has been very worthwhile.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to prospective students?

If you come here, please say hello!